Come Along

The day was much warmer than I had expected as Lina and I set off for a walk on the canyon trails. By the time I reached the bench overlooking the river I was glad to sit down for a while. I slipped off my backpack and pulled out the yarn I had packed along for this purpose. It seemed almost out of place in the prettyish sort of wilderness where I sat. The breeze heard my prayers there.

My crocheting goes with me everywhere these days - back and forth to work, stuffed under one arm at the dog park, rolling at my feet on roadtrips, next to my bed at night, and even carted on walks. It helps me to remember God's omnipresence, for little else accompanies me so faithfully.

Hebrews 13:5b "God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'"

Even though God promises He'll always be with me, I often fail to remember His presence as I go from place to place. He can be there, yet not thought of, pulled out merely when one feels like it, thinks it a duty, or is in need of assistance. I want to invite His presence, to choose to be with Him, in all circumstances, as He is with me.

Falling Short

I had a rough time of it with square #109. It all started when the last of my fire red was just an inch short of completing the center. It was so close that I didn’t want to pull it all out and throw it away, so instead I left out the last stitch so I would have enough yarn to close the circle. I planned to compensate for the dropped stitch in the next row, but I got to the last round and trim, and my count was still off. Some additional fudging worked it out in the end, but I still had a general feeling of dissatisfaction with the number of mistakes I’d made.

There have been more times in my life where I’ve fallen short than I’d like to admit. Inevitably, one sin has rippling repercussions that can affect other people and future circumstances. Yet God still works us into something usable, bridging our gaps with grace. This one square, despite its deficiencies, has a place in the afghan, and its mistakes will be forgotten. Thank you, Lord, for using a broken vessel like me.

Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”
Psalm 85:2 “You forgave the iniquity of your people and covered all their sins.”

Patterned

Square #105 was halfway done before I realized it. My finger memory was working well as my mind dwelt in prayers. Every once in a while I stopped to count my stitches: two puff, one, two, three, four, double again. My hands were on autopilot. Treble for the corner, two half double along the side, time to change color.

When I started this afghan my first couple squares were stop-and-go as I deciphered the written pattern. Now the instructions are tucked away as reference because the pattern lives in my fingers. God’s pattern is written on my heart. Created in the image of God, I seek to pattern my life after Christ.

Ephesians 5:1 “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

I’ve read His instructions, and with that foundation I’m out practicing them! I’m learning by repetition to serve spontaneously, to love sacrificially, and to live irreproachably. The longer I go, the more natural it becomes. I pray that my automatic reactions would follow the example I’ve ingrained on my heart, the life of Christ.

John 13:15 “I [Jesus] have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.”
1 John 2:6 “Whoever claims to live in him, must walk as Jesus did.”

In the Loop

Momma and I sat in domestic silence while soaking up a warm Saturday morning sun. She worked alongside me, crocheting a hat as I picked out the colors for my next square. I paused in my progress to give Momma her next mini-lesson. Showing her how to do a back post double crochet, her hook felt thick in my hands after 100 squares with my smaller one. When I picked my square back up, I kept an eye on her first few stitches to make sure they were correct.

In addition to helping Momma on her new projects, I've had two friends ask me to teach them the basics of crocheting recently, and I love having the opportunity to share my knowledge about a subject I enjoy. I feel convicted when I ask myself, how willing am I to share my knowledge of Christ? This knowledge is even more important and precious, and the Gospel is not meant to be kept to myself; it is meant to be taught and passed on.

Mark 16:15 "He [Jesus] said to them, 'Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.'"

So although my thoughts were scattered and my prayers somewhat distracted as I jumped between working on my own square and helping Momma, I managed to pray, Lord, help me to take the opportunities to preach Christ.

Middle Miles

The rain outside made the afternoon feel later than it was as I worked my way through square #90. It was nothing special, apart from the fact that it marked the halfway point in this project. The middle is about the hardest place to be: it’s far enough along from the start that one has lost the initial excitement and enthusiasm, but still equally far enough from the end that no light at the end of the tunnel has appeared yet.

I remembered my first summer working at camp while I crocheted. On the course of an exhausting nine week summer, week five, six, and seven were at times unendurable. Our program director spurred the staff on, preaching perseverance through the middle miles. Every week he read us this verse:

Jude 1:24-25 “To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy – to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.”

Though we persevere, it’s God who keeps us from falling in the weariness, discouragement, and doubt of the middle miles. How must Jesus have felt on day twenty while he was fasting in the desert - or the Israelites, twenty years into their desert wanderings - or Noah, after twenty days of rain and confinement with the world’s species on a boat?

It’s the hope of the outcome that motivates my perseverance. I keep crocheting because I want to have a finished afghan, and I keep praying because I have hope in the glory of my savior. The middle miles don’t have to be wasted miles, and with persistence, they won’t be. It’s all those miles that ultimately create an afghan and bring a “well done, good and faithful servant.”

Old Fashioned

There’s two articles I read this week that I’m still chewing on as I whip out my squares for the day. The first was about the latest high-tech innovations; the second argued the case for giving young children the latest gadgets and gizmos. In my mind, there just seems something wrong with three year-olds having ipods, educational or not. Internally, I’m bemoaning to myself the increasing pervasiveness of recreational technology. It isn’t bad, but it’s come at a cost.

Crocheting is one of the arts becoming lost in the excesses of a technology saturated society. In my grandmother’s day, women had the patience and perseverance to tat, knit, embroider, and crochet. In today’s culture of instant gratification, women are downloading the latest song off itunes or texting a friend. Sometimes I feel like an old fashioned girl caught in the wrong century, but God doesn’t make mistakes.

Despite all the advancements in scientific achievement, and despite the successes of our modern intellect, God uses the simple to confound worldly wisdom.

1 Corinthians 3:18-21a “Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a “fool” so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: ‘He catches the wise in their craftiness, and again, ‘The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile.’ So then, no more boasting about men!”

This simple girl finished a square with a prayer to become a fool for Christ.

Common Thread

It's Easter weekend and I'm surrounded by my family as I crochet. Grammy is puttering around in the kitchen, Momma's conversation with my aunt is drifting around the corner from the living room, Grandpa and Daddy are hiding out with the grill in the garage, and my little cousins are bouncing around the house with a parent close behind. It's wonderful to belong to such people.

My family is as varied as the colors I'm weaving into my square, each a unique combination of personality, tastes, talents, and spiritual gifts. Though the centers of each of my squares are distinctive, they are all edged with the same black and white trim that marks them as belonging to the same pattern. I am lucky that most of my family shares this common thread, both as blood relatives and as followers of Christ.

1 Corinthians 12: 4-6 "There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men."

Easter is the reason we even have the ability to be part of God's family. The blood of Christ marks us as his, confirming that without question, we belong.

Galatians 4:4-6 "But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons."

Left in a Square

Someone hurt me recently. It was over an insignificant matter, but my yarn soaked up a few tears nonetheless. I crocheted a square, praying for love for the person who had wounded me, but it was hard. Forgiving someone who has hurt you is much easier said than done, yet Jesus calls us to forgive.

Matthew 18:21-22 "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.'"

This being the case, my squares of forgiveness are going to have to continue long after the 181 for this afghan are finished. But comparatively, if I had a square for every time God has forgiven me, I'd be wrapped in a blanket far bigger than an afghan. That's why I wove my sorrows, my grievances, and my grudges into the yarn of a square and left them there.

Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Tail End

It was a noteworthy event as I finished off my first ball of scrap yarn, a fuzzy royal blue. Granted, I hadn't started out with a large amount, and I still have other shades of blue, but it made my progress seem more tangible.

It can be hard to see something come to an end, to see a door closed. Right now I'm contemplating the close of a chapter of my life - a sixteen year chapter. It's not an easy decision to make. With one hand I'm clinging tightly to the tail end of that yarn, unwilling to give it up with the hope that I could stretch it out longer. God, I've been serving You in this area; is it really Your will that I let go? But my other hand is prying open its clenched grasp, saying, it's time to move on. God might have something else planned for you.

I picked up a new yarn for my next square as I prayed for wisdom and direction in this matter. If this yarn ends, I know He'll provide another one for me to start on.

Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."

Unraveled

I was finishing up my squares for the day when I noticed that a few unruly skeins were making a mess of my yarn bag, twisting and knotting around other colors. It was time to transform them into balls. Taking the purple mess first, I wrapped it around my fingers and started to form its new shape. It was rough going at first, my hand cramping as I clinched the small lump with my fingernails. I looped and looped, and as the yarn unraveled from one end, a smooth sphere began to grow in my hands. The length of it slid softly through my fingers, though frequently I paused to work out the knots. Every once in a while it would slip out of my grasp and roll away, taking me back a few rounds after I picked up the fugitive string.

I've had times where I've felt like my life was unraveling, but I’ve come to learn that it’s a necessary part of allowing God to mold me into the shape he wants. He pulls me apart, untying the knots of my sin and insecurities, and builds me up to be whole and effective for His purpose.

Isaiah 64:8 “Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.”